It's struck me recently how many things Covid-19 has in common with babies. Babies might not have spike proteins or inhabit respiratory droplets, but bear with me.
Firstly it seems like both heralded an end to the life we knew. With babies, many parents experience huge difficulty adjusting to their new reality. Once the adrenaline of the birth and heady sleep-deprived haze of those early weeks subsides, they are left with the slow dawning reality that their choices are fewer, their future in many ways more limited, and their decisions carry the heavy responsibility of human life. So too with Covid. The gulf between the pre and post-Covid worlds seems absolute. Black and white, no gradual shading of grey. Hence we too struggle to adjust. We mourn the freedoms we once had, we struggle to accept the present reality.
And for those who live with a mental health condition, all of our usual coping strategies are whipped out from under us. With a baby, sleep, exercise, diet and structure are replaced with exhaustion, chocolate and utter unpredictability. With Covid, plans are replaced with yawning days, weeks and months; socialising replaced with solitude; certainty with shifting sands.
The torture of newborn sleep is also reminiscent of life in these strange times. Just as you think they are drifting off, just as you think the R rate is dropping and vaccines are approved, they start twisting with wind or searching for their dummy, and the world gives us a new variant, a new spike and another lockdown.
It means that even when they do stay asleep, or when the world is more reliable, we have all started protecting ourselves against disappointment. Hence the new mother lies awake, beyond tired, while her baby sleeps, waiting for the next snuffle, cry and demand. So too we have all stopped making plans, looking to the future, because we can no longer bear the disappointment which follows them.
But maybe we can take heart – time passes. Children do eventually sleep at night, even if it takes some of them longer than others. Vaccines will hopefully open our world up again and let us plan for a future we can trust.